I completely wrote it off and regretted it immediately, then found out I was pregnant. I had no intention whatsoever of being with this other man, but under the circumstances, we did go out for a a couple of drinks in the vain hope of telling him, but I just couldnt do it.
I told my partner all this, and he was devestated, so I got rid of the baby, as much as it broke my heart.
I am desperate to put things back on track with my partner, and as much as I tell him I love him, I'm sorry, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he says thats not good enough. He says I need to do something rather than nothing, rather than just carrying on saying I love you etc. he says get inside his head and think what he's thinking, do something to put out the fire rather than pour petrol on it, just do SOMETHING! and I really dont know where to start or what to do. We cant make love because I know all he is seeing is me with somebody else. I just dont know what to do, I am beside myself. Please somebody help meAfter my one night stand with consequences, my partner is devestated?He has a right to his feelings and you MAY have blown this.
Grow up.
You made a bad choice and sometimes "I'm sorry" isn't enough.
You can move forward from here...even if it hurts. Don't make the same mistake again.
I question your maturity if you sleep with someone, get pregnant, and then discard the child. I'm against abortion and believe that by doing so you compounded your problem by showing your boyfriend your utter disregard for human life.After my one night stand with consequences, my partner is devestated?
You should go kill yourself.
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After my one night stand with consequences, my partner is devestated?Help you?! Your answer to covering up your deceit and cheating was to KILL, or as you so eloquently put it "get rid of" the baby and you want help? Where was the help for the innocent child you discarded as if it were nothing but a used tissue?! You cheated and now you have to accept the consequences. He obviously can't forgive you, your relationship is going to end. You need to deal with the consequences of your bad choices.That poor poor baby!!
My mother taught me that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.
I was cool with you until you stated that you got "rid" of the baby.After my one night stand with consequences, my partner is devestated?WOW...... well be thankful that he is even talking to you. Put yourself in his shoes.. how would you feel if he got another woman pregnant? He is going to be hurt and agnry for a long while. I would give him some space and think of ways to get his mind off of it. But everytime he looks art you all he sees is what you did. If you still want to be with him, it is going to be one hell of a battle for a long time. I am sure that he will make sure that you pay for what you did........We all make mistakes in life, what you did isnt good at all but if he is willing to give you a second chance and you are willing to endure whatever he has in store for you.... then good luck and it is very respectable that you are willing to stick it out with him and face the music....After my one night stand with consequences, my partner is devestated?
Sorry dear. You're very lucky that your partner stuck around. As for killing an innocent life rather than putting it up for adoption, that's something that's going to haunt you for the rest of your life. It's going to take quite sometime for this situation to get better, if it ever does.
You can't put things back the way they were. What is done is done. You can't go inside his head and make him forget about it either. He will think about the hurt and betrayal every day of his life.
It is now part of who you two are. It will remain part of who you are and affect your relationship with each other and other people, for the rest of your life.
You need to find some way to deal with the problem, or you will break up.After my one night stand with consequences, my partner is devestated?
I wish there was something anybody can do to help you but the true is that only time will tell. He might never forget this and it will be difficult for you to keep up with the relationship. Talk to him and ask him if he thinks he'll be able to forgive and forget if not you'll have to move on because you'll make your life miserable trying to make him forget what happened. It's not up to you really so there's not much you can do but again only time will tell, Good Luck!
I'm sorry this has happened to you. First I would examine your motives. If you did this foolish thing, are you really sure you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner? If you do then the rest will be easier.
You need to regain the trust of your partner. That takes time and dedication on your part. I think you need to constantly do things to reassure him. Keep yourself away from temptation and make sure he knows. Be with him as much as you can. Be more affectionate than you are used to. Eventually he will realize that you are for real.
The problem is that the thoughts are in his head. He has to get them out. You can't do it. Tell him to think of positive things in your relationship whenever this ogre pops up. Kind of like that Sound of Music song where she says, "these are a few of my favorite things." Just not that sappy because he is a guy.
Trust takes time.
you may have ruined every thing.
Go to Him, get down on your knees and apologize and then ask Him what it will take to save your relationship. But be ready to hear Him say that nothing will work. If He'll give you some ideas, you must do anything He wants.
you need to accept that you deserve to be thrown out.
As for the baby, my religious background calls this murder. i don't know how you fix that.
shame on you.
I don't believe that you should try to get inside his head, even if he suggests it. Your relationship has a chance if you are willing to go to counseling together, or no chance if you don't. It won't work if you don't understand why you did what you did, why you told him about it, and if he forever holds it against you. You may never forgive him either, for the choices you felt forced to make (right or wrong, doesn't matter). I wish you had asked the question, I'm pregnant with another man's baby from a one night stand, should I tell him? I wouldn't have told him. He would have love the child and you would have had to bear the guilt, but it happens. Too late now, but try counseling.
Regardless of my personal opinion of you and your actions, I'd say the first step would be to find a new job. He won't be able to trust you working around booze and men (and rightfully so). Then, all you can do is tell him and show him that you love him and you don't have any interest in anyone but him, and hope that works. Don't give him any reason ever again to question you. You can't make him forgive you and decide he still wants to be with you, that's his decision, and you have to respect it either way.
This is broken beyond repair. Cut all your losses and learn your lessons.
You cannot undo what you did already. The past is gone...and you will have to learn to deal with what you did ... and with the consequences of your actions.
I strongly suggest you go to therapy and also talk to your pastor or priest. You have a lot of issues to deal with---cheating, random sex, an abortion...and unless you face what you did and learn to forgive yourself, you will be miserable for a loooooong time.
I will not judge you...but I agree with most of the answers you got already. This man has all the right in the world to feel angry and disappointed...You betrayed him and the relationship you claim to want.
Trust is a key ingredient in a happy relationship...and your actions have killed it. You cannot expect him to believe you and be cool just because you have said "I'm sorry"...It takes time to rebuild trust...and sometimes it can never be fully regained!
lady why did u tell him???
now what can he or u do?
hell
i dont feel sorry for you. if i were him i would run and never look back. he is a better one than me. and the fact that you "got rid" of a human life to try to reconcile YOUR mistake is beyond me. he needs to leave you. help you how dare you make this mess about you, help you indeed. you need to look at yourself. did you think that maybe that baby was your partners and not the one night stand? you are beneath trash. i feel sorry for that baby, someone could have loved that child better than you.
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