Should i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?

Me and my husband have been together for 11 years and married for 4 we also have 3 children. We have had many money problems over the last couple of years mixed with other personal set backs but we always managed to get through as we loved each other.But over the last year i have felt a gap between us i felt that he started to treat me more and more like a piece of meat, only wanting me for sex. Then i fell pregnant, i was over the moon but my husband was upset as he didn't want any more children. Then 10 weeks into the pregnancy i went for my scan to discover that my baby had not grown and that i would miscarry. I felt that the world had ended but i knew i had to go on for my other children. Through out this time i felt that my husband was happy that this had happened to us, so i bottled up my feeling and hoped that things would get better.I really thought that 2009 would be the year that things would get better for us, on friday i had a bit of a break down as this is when our baby would have been born and for the first time i told my husband how i felt about losing the baby, but he just froze me out when all i wanted was a hug and to be told that he loved me. So the next night he went to his friends house to drink even though i thought he should stay in so we could talk and try and make things better. Now normally he gets in after 1am if hes been out but i awoke to see it was after 5am and i was worried but thought he would be home soon and sure enough by 6am he was in our bed hugging me and going back to sleep. For the next 3 days he was acting a bit off but i thought he was tried then he broke the news to me that he had slept with his best friends wife while drunk. He swears that it was a mistake and that he doesn't want to lose me or the kids but i feel i have loss all trust in him. And now to make things worse he found out today that she has given him an infection. What do i do?Should i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?The fact that he slept with his best friends wife is bad enough, but not only was he not there for you he has now betrayed you, you deserve better than this for you and your children xShould i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?
How about stop "falling pregnant" with a cheating slime ball?



Honey, if every year is "your year" you will be hoping this for the rest of your life and death will actually be the year you are free from anguish.Should i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?You miraculously "fell pregnant??" How is that possible??



You don't just get pregnant without deciding together as a couple if you want more children. Even though you were happy about this baby, you both should have decided together on such a huge decision. This whole situation with your husband has a LOT to do with that.



As for him having a one-night-stand with another woman, well, he's obviously not mature enough to deal with his problems in an adult manner and just goes out and gets drunk to forget about the problems at home. Honestly, when we're mad and want to just get drunk we do it together! We love doing that. Plus the alcohol makes us less inhibited and we usually end up working it out between us. And of course that usually ends with some nighttime "fun" if you know what I mean.



I would really suggest you get some professional help for the both of you. You're dealing with unspoken issues that NEED to be resolved between you and if he's incapable of being a man and talking about your problems then you need to see a counselor who can help you get through this.
I am sorry for the pain you must be feeling. I myself wouldn't put up with that kind of behavior. Once a cheater always a cheater.Should i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?That's your choice to forgive him or not.



Other people cant make this decision for you.Should i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?
NO! In my college years I had plenty of drunken nights-some I barely remember and some I do, but one thing I can always say from experience is that while alcohol impairs your judgement it releases comments and actions or thoughts of actions that have always been there. How did it get to that point to where they had UNPROTECTED sex? It's something that has been in the air and from the way he was acting prior to this it was going to happen sooner or later. Ask yourself-can you ever look at him the same or everytime he walks out the door don't you wonder where hes going or what hes doing?
i wouldn't cheating is the ultimate no no



i have told my husband if he cheats that's it and if i were to cheat that's it also.Should i forgive my husband after a drunken one night fling?
OMG! Thats terrible! I think you two need to go seek marriage councling, this ones a tough one, husbands do make mistakes as well as us women but if he's really sympathetic and you love him and are willing to make it work than do what you have to do. I say you check yourself as well.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.



The first thing you need to do is get into marriage counseling. A counseler can help you sort through your feelings of mistrust, abandonment, etc. Once you begin that process, you'll be able to figure out if it's something you want to salvage.



Good luck and my heart goes out to you.



ETA: Many people are able to salvage their marriage after cheating. It isn't an automatic "game over," you'll both have to do some work, but it can be done and many times the couple is stronger in the end.
Hunny, If a man cheats on you he does not love or respect you like he should, have some self respect and one day there will be someone out there who will never do anything to hurt you x

once a cheat always a cheat
I don't understand people who ask this. To me, the whole point of marriage is that you don't sleep with other people. You promised not to when you got married and if you do the contract is broken and bang goes the trust.



If you forgive him he WILL do it again because he got away with it, however sorry he is. If he REALLY cared about not losing you or the children he would never have got himself into that state in the first place.



If it were me, that would be it.
Usually I say to people to go to a marriage counselor but on this one I say to LEAVE HIM! Kick him out! take him for child support and start over with your life. What a jerk...I never buy the "oh I was drunk" excuse.. That is exactly what it is...an EXCUSE. For him to be so "a drift" from you and then leave and get drunk and have SEX with his BF's WIFE!!??? Are you kidding me?! He knew what he was doing. I would tell his friend and go after his wife! That is me, but if someone "went" for my Hubby they wouldn't be around much longer to talk about it. Really though I would leave, if you don't then this will always come up and you guys will always fight about it and there will always be trust issues...It's not worth it on a man (loser) like him. I am truly sorry that his happened to you, and wish you all the best!
No you shouldn't, That is the up most betrayal. Let alone with some one you know.You need some time to think this out. First he needs to stop drinking. If he cant do that it might happen again and he'll blame it on being drunk...
I feel your pain. Your husband's actions are considered cheating. He broke a marriage vow and needs to do everything he can to rebuild your trust in him. If he is truly sorry and regrets his actions, he will make some effort. If not, you have a choice to make.



May you be given wisdom in this situation. :-))



You might also benefit from a counselor. Someone who is not emotionally tied to the relationship to help you sort through all your emotions and make a decision you'll be happy with. God Bless.



P.S. This is your chance to speak up. Let him know how he made you feel by going out drinking at a time you really needed him. Also let him know how he made you feel by breaking his commitment to you. You don't have to attack him, but he needs to know his actions are inappropriate and possibly even inexcusable.
Leave him. Forgiving him is like telling him he can do it again because you will keep forgiving him. Besides, do you really want to sleep with him now that he has some sort of STD? Don't put up with that.
I am sorry for your loss and understand the pain you are feeling ( i am going through it right now).



You do not need him and his **** also on top of everything. The fact that he cheated on you when you really needed him proves that he is a real low life. If you forgive him then he will think that he can do it again. You deserve better then that. Kick him out of the house and tell him you are NOT letting him put you through more heartache. Even after 11years you do not owe him any forgiveness.



Be strong for yourself and your children
I know alot of people will say you should divorce him and in some ways to some people that is the answer. I'll take the opposite approach and say you should work together to make things work. Why? Because you have a history together. You have a family together. You have a life invested in each other. It will be very tough and hard to adjust for you without question but you deserve to give yourselves a chance since the adjustment, expense and loss of your best friend will be well worth it. Good luck
Well I feel like one time means you have trouble in your marriage and you need to fix it. If both people are willing and the unfaithful is sorry for their actions. Now more then once then it will happen again and again. But a family that prays to together stays together. You need to seek the lord in every aspect of your life and if you husband does the same you can have a great relationship. I am very sorry about your loss, and your husbands unfaithfulness. I know that must be hard. But I believe you can get through it if you both really want too. And to me you should try. Now if he makes a habit of it let him go. That isn't something you want to show your kids.
This is something the two of you need to work out. It's so easy for people here to say to leave him, but YOU are the ones with an investment here.



I never understand the "I was drunk, didn't mean it, so it's alright" attitude - to me, being drunk doesn't excuse anything. BUT, YOU and the only one who can decide whether you can forgive him.



Maybe you could tell him to SHOW you he loves you over an extended period.... Good luck.



P.S. I don't believe the once a cheater, always a cheater routine - anyone can make a mistake....otherwise we would all be rich!!
WHO ARE YOU ASKING WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR ? I would F the BYATCH UP and while giving his a__ the papers and 1 foot in his A___ toward the CURVE
NO ! it will happen again, Promise...