What do you think of this poem: Love So Strong?

this poem was inspired by the Tanabata (涓冨, tanabata?, meaning "Evening of the seventh") is a JapaneseChinese star festival, Qi Xi (涓冨 "The Night of Sevens")锛?star festival, derived from the



It celebrates the meeting of Orihime (Vega) and Hikoboshi (Altair). The Milky Way, a river made from stars that crosses the sky, separates these lovers, and they are allowed to meet only once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the lunisolar calendar. Since the stars come out at night, the celebration is held at night.

hope you enjoy



She loves him

and he loves her

Their love so united

so pure

Their wait for each other so long

year after year

and finally July is here

The milky way is gone

they can finally hug each other

kiss each other

for that one night long

Their love so strong

it can never be wrongWhat do you think of this poem: Love So Strong?I, as the reader, don't feel that your subject matter truly produces an emotional response within you the writer.



How would you feel if you were kept away from someone you loved so much and whom loved you so much that you could be one person? How would you feel parted from that person for 360 long, painful days, that wore on as if you had half a heart? How would you feel when finally, for one day, your heart was complete and you could be whole again?



I think is technically ok but needs some depth of emotional experience. If anything I feel, as the reader, that the writer is naieve as to the subject.



Think about it and feel it then re-write it and see what you come up with. It certainly has alot of potential.



GL and keep writing, this was a good effort.

- Tony